Olawunmi, my husband likes sex….alot. I don’t hate it but I have a problem with the way he approaches sex. I am the kind of person who enjoys sex in totality, I enjoy when I am wooed even before I get to the bedroom, it helps me condition my mind properly for the actual sex. My husband on the other hand is good to go at a moment’s notice and he actually enjoys taking me without preamble or foreplay. I asked him why and he says, the sex feels hotter that way but I don’t enjoy it. It makes me feel used. Is something wrong with me?
A number of couples experience what the lady above is currently experiencing, where sexual preferences between couples differ and begin to cause problems in the bedroom. I do not believe anything is wrong with either, and there is absolutely nothing wrong when a spouse prefers one to the other.
Which brings me to today’s topic of ‘Love Making versus Fast Food Sex’.
Which is better?
Love making is usually defined as the entirety of the sexual journey, which may begin way before the couple get to the bedroom.
From suggestive sexts, to dinner dates to sexy foreplay that involves a lot of attention to the body’s erogenous zones to the penetrative and orgasmic culmination of the entire process.
Love making is the whole nine yards, a full 3 to 7 course meal if you like.
Who wouldn’t love that?
Who wouldn’t want to be the recipient of such attention to detail?
Who wouldn’t prefer a 3 course meal to standing on the side walk to grab a quick burger or sharwama?
However, there is something to be said for ‘fast food’ sex as well. You know, that primal urge that comes upon you and makes you just want to ravish your spouse voraciously without standing on ceremony.
There’s something to be said for that fire that makes you want to grab him/her as soon as they walk through the door and get down to business.
The intensity, the passion, the urgency of being taken against the wall (or wherever) because you couldn’t wait long enough to get to the room, the raunchiness, the moans, the heat, the sweat, the mind blowing ecstasy of giving in to that basic instinct.
I wouldn’t say that love making trumps good old quickies or vice versa. I believe that both have their place and come in handy in different situations. However, it is up to the couple to understand and make the effort to accommodate each other’s needs at different points in time.
It is crucial that the need of one spouse doesn’t overshadow the needs of the other, both spouses have to learn how to be sensitive to each other and act accordingly.
On days where lovemaking fits the bill, revel in the feeling of knowing that your spouse invested their time and energy to elaborately make love to you and enjoy the journey.
On days when quickies happen, be happy to know that you are capable of creating stirrings in the loins of your spouse that makes them succumb to the intense heat of the moment.
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