Are you one of those people who wait to “feel turned on” before having sex? You keep expecting that sudden spark, that tingling in your body, before intimacy can happen. But what if I told you that waiting for that moment might be the reason your sex life feels mismatched or unsatisfying?
In episode 5 of Love Notes with O.E., I explore the truth about desire. Many of us believe sexual desire is only about spontaneous urges, the natural tingling or arousal that seems to come from nowhere. But that’s just one type of desire.
There’s also something called responsive desire, where your body wakes up to pleasure because of something else, a movie, a kiss, a touch, or even a memory.
When you understand this, you realize:
- Desire doesn’t always have to start in your body; it can be sparked.
- Waiting for ovulation, hormones, or random urges isn’t your only option.
- You can actively elicit desire and close that pleasure gap with your partner.
Instead of waiting passively, you can take charge of your pleasure, explore what wakes up your desire, and create a sex life that feels satisfying for you and your partner.
👉🏽 Listen to the full episode “Stop Waiting to Be Turned On” (Episode 5 of Love Notes with O.E.) on Spotify to dive deeper into how you can wake up your desire and enjoy intimacy on your own terms.
🎧 Click here to listen on Spotify
Olawunmiesan is one of Africa's renowned sex therapists who helps individuals and couples improve intimacy and enjoy sexual pleasure, connection, and fulfillment.
To learn more about her works, visit: www.olawunmiesan.com
