A short story…
She lay there, staring at the ceiling.
Her husband was close. His hands were on her body. Everything looked right from the outside.
But inside, she was far away.
Her mind was running through unfinished tasks, tomorrow’s plans, and the quiet thought she never said out loud:
“Why don’t I feel anything?”
She wondered if something was wrong with her.
She didn’t hate sex. She just couldn’t feel herself during it.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
And no, there is nothing wrong with you.
What disconnection really looks like
Disconnection doesn’t always mean pain or dislike.
For many women, it looks like:
- Being present physically but absent mentally
- Waiting for sex to be over
- Tuning off during sex
- Feeling numb instead of aroused
- Performing responses instead of feeling them
You go through the motions, but your body doesn’t respond the way you wish it would.
If you feel disconnected during sex, here are some possible reasons.
- Lack of relationship with your body
Some women have never really known their own bodies. They may have grown up disconnected from touch, sensation, or even basic awareness of their physical self. Without a foundation of self-knowledge, it’s nearly impossible to be present during sex. You can’t connect with what you don’t know, and without curiosity or exploration, disconnection becomes the default response
- You learned to focus on pleasing, not feeling
From an early age, many women are taught to be good, accommodating, and selfless. That lesson often follows them into the bedroom.
Sex becomes about:
- Doing it right
- Making sure he’s satisfied
- Not taking too long
When your attention is always outward, your body never gets the chance to speak.
3. You judge your body while it’s being touched
Instead of feeling sensations, your mind focuses on:
- How your body looks
- Whether you’re doing it right
- What your partner might be thinking
Judgment pulls you out of your body.
4. Your body doesn’t feel emotionally safe
For many women, emotional safety is the doorway to physical openness.
If you feel:
- Unheard
- Pressured
- Disconnected emotionally
Your body protects itself by disconnecting.
How to begin reconnecting with your body
Here are some practical ways to start:
- Explore your body alone. Spend 5 to 10 minutes a day noticing touch, sensation, and areas that feel pleasurable or tense.
- Slow your breathing during intimacy. Deep breaths help you stay present and relax your nervous system.
- Notice sensations without judging: Try to focus on what you feel, not what you think it should look like or whether it’s enough.
- Journaling your experiences: After solo or partner touch, write down what felt good, what surprised you, and what you want to explore next.
Ready to Reconnect and Feel Desire Again?
Baddie VIP 6-week group coaching is where desire wakes up. Six weeks of reconnecting with your body, six weeks of confidence replacing hesitation. Six weeks of pleasure without forcing, faking, or performing.
Click the link below to learn more about the Baddie VIP Group Coaching.
