Are you one of those people who wait to feel turned on before having sex?
You keep expecting that sudden spark, that tingling in your body, before intimacy can even begin.
But what if I told you that waiting for that moment might be exactly why your sex life sometimes feels mismatched or unsatisfying?
Desire isn’t always spontaneous
In Episode 5 of Love Notes with O.E., I explore the truth about desire.
Many of us believe sexual desire is only about spontaneous urges, that natural tingling that seems to appear out of nowhere. But that’s just one type of desire.
There’s also something called responsive desire – the kind that wakes up because of something else:
- A kiss
- A touch
- A flirty text
- A shared memory
- Or even a sensual story or scene
When you understand this, it becomes clear:
- Desire doesn’t always have to start in your body; it can be sparked.
- Waiting for hormones, ovulation, or random urges isn’t your only option.
- You can actively elicit desire and close the pleasure gap with your partner.
Take charge of your pleasure
Instead of waiting passively, you can:
- Explore what awakens your desire
- Learn to communicate your needs and fantasies
- Create a sex life that feels exciting, connected, and satisfying for both you and your partner
And that’s where Sexcapades comes in.
Each chapter of the book begins with a steamy prelude designed to spark desire and put you in the right headspace for intimacy.
The book as a whole is a transformational tool; it guides you to:
- Become more expressive in the bedroom
- Explore your creativity
- Build confidence in your pleasure
- Enjoy mind-blowing sex that feels fun, intentional, and deeply connected
If you’ve ever felt like your desire is “waiting” instead of flowing, Sexcapades gives you the permission and the tools to ignite it anytime.
Ready to wake up your desire?
🎧 Listen to the full episode, “Stop Waiting to Be Turned On” (Episode 5 of Love Notes with O.E.), on Spotify to learn how to take control of your pleasure and enjoy intimacy on your own terms.
🎧 Click here to listen on Spotify
And if you’re ready to transform your sex life, grab your copy of Sexcapades and start exploring desire, creativity, and connection today. Buy Sexcapades HERE
Olawunmiesan is one of Africa’s renowned sex therapists who helps individuals and couples improve intimacy and enjoy sexual pleasure, connection, and fulfillment.
To learn more about her works, visit: www.olawunmiesan.com
