Are You Friends?

You love your spouse, and yes you are in love with your spouse…but are you friends with your spouse?

A multitude of definitions have been given to the word ‘LOVE’

People have described love as a feeling, a series of actions, an over-surge of hormones and many other ways.

What does LOVE truly mean to you?

Is love simply about being able to provide for your wife or being able to satisfy your husband’s sexual needs without complaint?

Or is love more than that?

A critical part of love which we often overlook is ‘friendship’.

Are you friends with your spouse? You love your spouse in so many ways but is friendship one of them? Does real camaraderie exist between both of you? Have you bestowed on your spouse the gift of your friendship?

One of the reasons God brought Adam and Eve together was because God saw that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. God recognized Adam’s need for companionship and brought him Eve to satisfy that need.

Are you still fulfilling that purpose? Do you meet your spouse’s need for companionship?

If you took out sex, finance, kids and house chores, will there be more to your marriage?

Do you take genuine interests in your spouse like you do your friends or do you just play the role of ‘spouse’?

Think about it. How do you treat your friends? Do you treat your spouse better or worse?

Do you accord your spouse the respect you accord your friends?

Do you share your thoughts and emotions freely with your spouse like you do with your friends?

Are you careful not to hurt your friends’ feelings but quick to hurt your spouse with your words?

Do you value your friends more than you value your spouse? Would you rather spend time with them than with your spouse?

Don’t get me wrong, while it’s not wrong to have friends outside your marriage (within reason, of course), it’s wrong to place a higher value on your friends than you do your spouse.

Be a friendly spouse. When you argue, don’t throw caution to the wind and emasculate your spouse with derogatory words. Argue peaceably.

Be genuinely interested in what interests your spouse. When you ask how his/her day went, be interested in what they have to say rather than switch off once they start to talk.

Laugh together. Crack jokes. Make time to hang out and bond as friends.

When he or she needs your help, render it gladly, like you would to a friend.

“He who needs a friend must himself be friendly”

If you want to have an enjoyable marriage filled with love, trust, support and openness, you must be ready to give those things to your spouse.

No one is saying there won’t be rocky times, there will be. If however you see your spouse as your friend, chances are, you will approach conflict more constructively and less destructively.

Friendship is the glue that will hold your marriage together long after the red-hot fires of passion don’t burn as brightly as they used to. Friendship is what will keep you together after your kids have gone on to have families of their own.

Just as you save a pension for retirement, so should you sow a friendship that you can reap when it’s time to retire from ‘active service’ of marriage.

Be friends with your spouse today.

If this post resonates with you, do share with friends and family who will benefit from it.

Remember, sharing is caring.

P.S I always love to hear from you. Do drop your comments below.


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