Here are some tips on how to support your spouse going through personal crisis.
BE NON-JUDGEMENTAL.
The last thing a person in crisis needs is judgement, especially judgement from their significant other. This can further exacerbate the situation. Allow them express and process their emotions without judgment. People respond to crises in their own unique ways.
TALK.
Talking can be therapeutic. If your partner is willing to talk, listen to them. Having a caring and listening ear can be enough in certain situations. Avoid the temptation to offer premature advice unless they ask for it. And if they need help, ask them how you can be helpful. Don’t assume you know how best to help them.
FILL IN THEIR GAPS.
Fill in the gaps as a partner and a parent (if you have children). If they would usually play with the kids, help the kids understand that mummy/daddy need some time to rest and fill in the gap as much as is possible without wearing yourself out. If you can, help out with their daily chores or get someone to do it. It may be difficult for someone going through a crisis to get involved in usual daily activities.
IT’S OKAY IF THEY DON’T WANT TO TALK.
If they don’t want to talk, accept this as their way of coping and hold space for them. Support without active engagement is still support.
DON’T MAKE IT ABOUT YOU.
Remember, it’s not about you and how their crisis makes you feel. It’s about them. Respecting their process is important.