I have to say that being in a long-distance marriage is not the easiest thing and probably not the most ideal of situations.
We often recommend that such arrangements are temporary as opposed to being a permanent state of affairs.
That being said, long-distance relationships are the reality many couples face and although challenging, can still work, provided both partners remain committed.
The importance of maintaining your connection cannot be over-emphasized. It’s easy to simply let things operate on autopilot but you shouldn’t.
Here are some helpful tips.
1.Establish daily/weekly intimacy (could include sex but doesn’t have to be limited to sexual rituals) rituals.
With the lack of physical presence and connection, having daily/weekly rituals that keep you both feeling connected is not negotiable.
2.Find activities you can do together.
Even though you are apart, that shouldn’t cancel out things like scheduling date nights. Plan it like you are together! You can stream the same show while talking on the phone, play games online, go on a morning or evening walk together via video call.
All of these can help you and your partner feel more connected.
3.Make sure both parties bring something to the table Intimacy wise.
It shouldn’t be left to one person.
Make intimacy fun and engaging by taking turns bringing ideas to the table.
4. Communicate regularly and creatively.
Check on each other at the start of every day and stay connected during the day— this is a must.
To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, short videos, erotic messages from time to time. By putting in the deliberate effort, you make each other feel loved and attended to.
5. Don’t fall into the rut of getting used to being without each other.
As much as is possible, start and end your day acknowledging each other.
A message or prayer when you wake up and before you go to sleep (praying together if you are in the same time zone is a great idea). If you have kids, involve them.
6. Make sex dates.
You should absolutely schedule sex dates together and make it special. Get lingerie, create the mood, stroke yourselves while you watch each other, if you like toys, use toys while watching each other.
Talk about how much you miss holding, kissing, caressing, and fucking each other. Show some skin, show your partner your pussy/cock, and orgasm while on a call together. Sex dates give you something to look forward to and an outlet for releasing sexual tension together.
7. Be honest about your Sexual Desire.
Staying apart can be a prime breeding ground to hide your sexual desires from each other. But that would be a No-No.
You are human and you have sexual desires regardless of the distance between you. Make it part of your communication to talk about sex. Talk about how often you feel horny. You could ask each other permission to masturbate or use sex toys if you find your desire is on the high side. Be open about your sexual desires and both partners should be nonjudgmental towards the other.
8. Commit time to see each other.
God bless the Internet but there’s only so much you can do over the phone or via video calls. So it’s important that you agree on visiting schedules to keep your relationship/marriage feeling like one. Don’t get used to being married but living single.
9. Treat each other special and Don’t forget your love languages.
Being apart doesn’t mean you can’t connect in meaningful ways, specifically, each other’s love language.
Be it a hand-written letter or email telling them how much you love and value them, having thoughtful gifts delivered, spending quality time, providing acts of service or getting someone to do it in your absence, and more. Always remember to treat each other special
10. Stay positive.
To keep a long-distance relationship going, you must continuously inject positive energy into it.
One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful for the one you love, who also loves you in return. Appreciate the little things. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.
The bottom line is, be Intentional about marital intimacy, these things don’t run on autopilot.
Also, remember that the distance can take its toll especially when you have to reunite. Coming back together isn’t always as seamless as expected especially when it comes to sex and intimacy. If you are struggling with transitioning from living apart to living together, I can help you ease into your new phase. Send an email info@olawunmiesan.com to book a session with me