What Can I Do To Get Wet?
Last week’s response to the QnA session was amazing and questions are still pouring in. This week’s question was sent in by a lot of women, check it out below.
QUESTION
I Am Always Dry During Sex, How Can I Get Wet?
RESPONSE
A lot of women sent in this question, so I’ll be going a bit in-depth here by pointing out some things that could be responsible for this.
Your hormones – The hormone, Estrogen is responsible for vaginal lubrication. If your estrogen levels are low, you may have issues getting wet. So run a check to be sure your hormone levels are fine.
Understand your body and what stimulation works for you- Some women have issues lubricating because the stimulation they receive is not the stimulation their bodies enjoy. And this makes sense. If your partner (and yourself) doesn’t know what pleases you sexually, he might not know how to touch you right and getting aroused might be an issue for you. So go on a journey of exploration and learning together to really find out what turns you on and if you know already, guide him.
Don’t be anxious about getting wet– Anxiety can interrupt the arousal process and make you dry up instead of getting wet. So try to relax and focus on enjoying the sensations, as opposed to worrying about not getting wet.
Relaxation- Stress interferes with arousal and often times, the stress of running your daily activities coupled with the expectation for you to be a sex vixen at night (after a full day’s work) might be a lot. Consciously take time to find activities that relax you. Exercises like breathing exercises can help you relax. Activities such as taking a long bath, listening to soft music with the lights turned off in a cool environment, getting a massage from your spouse etc can help you relax and make your body more responsive to arousal. Find what works for you and start doing it!
Allow Your Body Get to the Point of Pleasurable Penetration- A woman’s arousal process differs from a man’s and requires some time get to the point of optimum arousal and pleasurable penetration. Rushing right to penetration because your man has an erection will overtime cause you to lubricate less and less, because you are telling your body that you don’t need its lubrication. Educate yourself and your spouse to understand the importance of allowing your body reach optimum arousal before penetration happens. Make extensive sex play with or without intercourse a thing!
Try Lube- If you are fully aroused and still find you are not lubricating, lubricants are your friend. As a matter of fact, lubricants can help your body’s lubrication kick in as arousal and pleasure increase. There’s no shame in needing a little help, however I recommend that you use lube when you’ve allowed your body attempt to do its thing… except of course, you are going for a quickie.
Kegel exercises- If you know me, you know I’m a kegel crusader and that’s because it works!Kegels and other pelvic floor exercises (if done correctly) will get the blood flowing to your vaginal tissues thereby increasing vaginal lubrication. They also help to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, give you more intense orgasms and increase sexual pleasure. So what’s not to love about kegels? Check them out HERE or HERE
Other things to look out for include
– Stay hydrated by drinking lots of water
– Check if an existing medical condition or your medications interfere with vaginal lubrication
– Breastfeeding may cause you to lubricate less as a result of the hormone- prolactin.
– Distraction during sex
– Lack of Pleasure from Sex
– Feelings of guilt about sex
-History of sexual trauma that hinders you from desiring or enjoying Sex
– Some people swear by herbs such as cloves BUT I can’t recommend this directly. Talk to your doctor before trying any herbs.
If after trying all these, you still experience Vaginal dryness, please see your gynaecologist and if you think you need Sex therapy to help you deal with some of these things that may have come up, please click HERE to work with me.
Cheers!
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